my fall tv line-up

what i'm watching:

last night was the first time i've ever seen modern family. where. have. i. been??? i was almost in tears in the first five minutes, when the gay husband said he didn't think he'd be a very inspiring disabled person.
i can't wait to catch up....add it to the list.

top chef just desserts - everyone knows how fanatical i am about top chef. not quite sold on this one yet....but i'm not giving up, it looks like the contestants are gonna get really bitchy.

mad men - this season keeps getting better. peggy and joan are KILLING me they're so amazing. don's getting it together....and i can't wait to see how he'll screw it up again. if you are not a mad men viewer, become one, but start at season one, don't just pick it up. you're missing too much.

project runway - i will be so sad when this season comes to an end. i could write a whole post on how much i love mondo. mondo mondo mondo!!!! gretchen and ivy = grossyuck.

boardwalk empire - completely satisfied with the series premiere. hbo already picked it up for a second season and i think it's gonna be a gritty, dirty winner. they got me with al capone. i'm so predictable.

keeping up with the kardashians - BRUCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'd give you all the space in the garage you'd ever need and more!

real housewives of d.c. - i can't wait for machine guns to erect themselves from michaela's fem-bot boobies. seriously, she's gonna break, people! her passive aggression can't stay like this forever! who names their daughter lolly by the way? i know she liked molly better but wanted to be edgy.

(ahh! nightmares!)

tosh.o - i'm in so deep i might become an actual tweeting fan. or start planning my future viewer video of the week.

the event - ehhhh, lame. but it had vague traces of alias and lost like it was supposed to and might pan out to be a decent wannabe replacement.

glee - will it ever get better than p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face?? doubtful, but i am SO excited for britney.

jersey shore - promiscuous, talentless losers getting paid a billion dollars an episode and it's still this good?? how is this possible?? pauly d stole my heart this season. he and rocio are waiting to smush and it's so sweet. i can't believe vinny's girl didn't show up for the date! he got a fresh tight fade for you, sweetheart, show some gratitude!!

and COMING SOON....

the office - please please please redeem yourself for the final season. something so good for so long can't go out in the slump it's currently in. i have faith in you, writers!

bored to death - can't wait for season two. schwartzman + galifianakis + danson = brilliant.

eastbound and down - again, ready to get f-ed up with some truth.

real housewives of atlanta - "ooohhhhh, that kim, that dirty, low-down, monkey wid a wig on,  mmmh!" - nene.

real housewives of [insert city here]- they could add duluth. i'd still watch it.
GOOOO bravo.

if my kids ever watch this much tv, i'll kill them. or lock them in some nature.
-molly

stuff white people like

www.stuffwhitepeoplelike.com - if you are bored, read the full list. yet another funny, useless way to fill your day.

here is one of my personal favorites:

#72 Study Abroad

February 22, 2008 by clander

In addition to accumulating sexual partners, binge drinking, drug use and learning, white people consider studying abroad to be one of the most important parts of a well rounded college education.

Study Abroad allows people to leave their current educational institution and spend a semester or a year in Europe or Australia.  Though study abroad are offered to other places, these two are the overwhelming favorites.

By attending school in another country, white people are technically living in another country.  This is important as it gives them the opportunity to insert that fact into any sentence they please. “When I used to live in [insert country], I would always ride the train to school.  The people I’d see were inspiring.”

If you need to make up your own study abroad experience, they all pretty much work the same way.  You arrived in Australia not knowing anybody, you went out to the bar the first night and made a lot of friends, you had a short relationship with someone from a foreign country, you didn’t learn anything, and you acquired a taste for something (local food, beer, fruit).  This latter point is important because you will need to be able to tell everyone how it is unavailable in your current country.

It is also important that you understand the study abroad ranking system.  Europe/Australia form the base level, then Asia, then South America, and finally the trump card of studying abroad in Tibet.  Then there is the conversation killer of studying abroad in Africa.  If you studied in Africa, it is usually a good idea to keep it quiet, it will remind white people that they were too scared to go and they will feel bad. Use this only in emergencies.

and guess what? i'm just as cliche as i thought i was. dammit!! my freaking haircut is on the list.  

taylor and another white girl with bangs - artistic, deep, and popular. duh.

#104 Girls with Bangs

June 27, 2008 by clander

If you see a white woman and you are trying to figure out whether she is liked or just merely tolerated by white people, the best thing you can do is get a quick look at her haircut. It is a known fact that white people love women who wear their hair with bangs that hang straight down.

A number of very popular white women have worn this hairstyle including Joni Mitchell, Jane Birkin, Jenny Lewis and every girl ever photographed by Vice Magazine or the Cobrasnake. (Note: it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with these two things as they are both beloved by cool white people. Follow up note: these same things are hated by cooler white people).

Many people associate this type of haircut with children and people looking for the most efficient way to get hair out of their eyes. But for white people, this simple haircut makes a bold declaration by saying that the wearer is artistic, deep, and has probably dated a guy in a band you like. Of course, as with many things loved by white people, simple often means expensive and these haircuts usually cost upwards of $100.

It is essential for you to know this haircut is more than a mere fashion statement– it is an important cultural marking. Throughout the world, many cultures feature ceremonies to announce that a girl has become a woman. For white people, the haircut-with-bangs is an important symbol that a female has completed her transformation from a nerdy girl to a cool woman. In fact, if you went to high school with a nerdy white girl who moved to a big city, there is a good chance she will show up to your high school reunion with this haircut.

When you are introduced to a group of white people, it’s a good idea to befriend the girl with the bangs. She’s probably the most popular.

it's a sign!

for no reason other than boredom, i decided to make brownies this afternoon, and the second i pop them in the oven taylor comes upstairs with a bunch of my stuff that was left in his office. what was right on top of the pile? a freaking Shape magazine. so i read it, as the brownie smell filled the air, and it was the most depressing situation ever.

i mean really, how many times can one say: "i'll start tomorrow?"

anyways, had a really fun time at the early k-state game at arrowhead on saturday, and proceeded to making an absolute fool of myself that night interpretive dancing to this really emo serious music. (the band is called "the xx" - they are incredible. so incredible they moved me to the art of dance.)

welp, off to go draft a fake pre-nup for family law....HOW FUN!!!! 

offended.

my dad's tacos are T-H-E best ever. they were one of my favorite meals growing up, and if i don't say so myself, i do a pretty darn job of re-creating them. you fry corn tortillas in oil for just a second on each side to soften and warm them, (it also adds a ton of flavor), and the taco meat MUST be made with Lawry's Taco seasoning only! Absoltutely no exceptions.

taylor is not a huge fan. it pisses me right off.

so tonight at dinner i decided the only way to settle our taste differences will be to use our future children. i am positive that our kids will love these tacos, so i will win, and we'll eat them for the rest of our lives. i mean, yes, they could possibly prefer a less flavorful taco seasoning and crappy store bought hard shells, and then taylor wins this battle. but they have to decide!!!

note: taylor and i are not planning on having kids anytime soon. also, i realize that the above way of thinking boils down to me using kids to drive a wedge between my marriage. even if it's just so i can continue to enjoy my favorite food, that's bad. but i still thought about it, which proves even more so that i will not be having kids for some time. 

xoxo,
molly who has had three beers and will probably delete this post tomorrow.

killer photography

i'm sure this is redundant, since most of you that read this bliggity blog are also facebook friends, but i couldn't skip a post featuring our wedding photos.

taylor and i picked becca spears from wirken photography about a month after our engagement, and although it was a tough decision since photography is so expensive, the second we signed the contract we did not experience an ounce of buyer's remorse. once we got the courage to do it, we were just kinda like, well duh!!

and she SURELY did not disappoint. instead of sending her clients their photos whenever they are ready, wirken photography (which just consists of becca and her partner, tyler wirken) hosts a "viewing party" where clients can invite whoever they want to come to the studio, drink champagne, and re-live your whole wedding day through the most amazing slideshow ever, to music that perfectly fits your personalities. my mom, dad, and i were all crying within five minutes. they know what they're doing.

some of my favorites:

my cousin's son simon is SOOOO girl-crazy. the night of the rehearsal was the first time he met fiona, and he was in love. (he was also in love with pretty much every girl there, and has an imaginary girlfriend named sarah). he's the most hysterical kid ever!!!! we talked to him a couple nights ago and he described in detail what he wanted his next girlfriend to look like: "long blond hair, the same color as mine, and NO PONYTAILS!!"

I love this picture so much.

I had no idea these ones would turn out so cool! We snuck out of the reception right after dinner to go up to the roof and take these - such a relaxing break!

This cracks my shit up.

becca posted this one on her blog as one of her favs, and i couldn't agree more! 

we're married!

beautiful wedding par-tay!

i over-looked this photo the first night. now it's one of my favorites.

soooo good lookin.

jim thome, ladies and gentlemen.

haha, for some reason i am obsessed with this picture....and that reason would be jake tunnell.

ok i'm stopping here, there are way too many!!!

the point is, I couldn't be happier. when I saw becca's blog post of her favorite 30 or so photos, it took me about 6 hours to figure out what to say in my blog comment. i just couldn't put into words how special, perfect, extraordinary, awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome these pictures are!!!

Aldi Love

There is an Aldi 1.2 miles from our house. And let's just say, Taylor and I are a bit more than fans. Thank you Carly Smith, for showing me the light and allowing me to pass it on to my frugal husband.

So I took him there for the first time about three weeks ago and he was utterly in shock. He could not stop picking things up and exclaiming "OH MY GOD! We are never shopping anywhere else AGAIN!!" And then as we were checking out, who do we see? None other than the business suit -sporting hottie herself, Carly Smith - taking applications from a long line of potential employees. Small world, since the Aldi we go to isn't even one of the stores in her district. Taylor came home and couldn't stop gushing about how awesome Aldi was. He even asked me if he should write on Carly's facebook wall and tell her how much he loved it. Again. Bahahaha....

Anyways, I am absolutely obsessed with how much money you save and have kept every single receipt from every grocer (proof below) to go home and furiously compare and tell my husband how much less everything is at Aldi, as if I personally did something really extraordinary and deserve a reward or something. So far, I have not found one thing that you can get for less money anywhere else, even with a coupon, except for Milk. It's cheaper at Costco. But that's the ONLY thing!! (Ok and I think maybe eggs are cheaper at Costco, and they're also a better grade, but you have to buy like five dozen at a time and even though Taylor could manage to finish off 5 dozen eggs in two weeks, they're just really too heavy for me to handle and freak me out. Ok, I digress)

On that note, I am going to turn into a taquito. A gloriously cheap, yet surprisingly delicious Aldi taquito. I.can't.stop.eating.them. I only microwave one at a time, so I feel like I'm just having a teeny snack, but then I go back to the freezer and the microwave four times in the four minutes that follow. Ok writing this down just made me realize that my snack is turning into fourthmeal.